The Pros and Cons of Parenthood

This week I (Chrissom) was going through some old papers and found a hand written paper titled, "Advantages of Not Having Kids (Or Sarcastic Responses to the Question "Why Don't You Have Kids?"). We wrote this while attending an adoption seminar about six months before Zack became part of our family. As we read through the list we laughed hard because we had predicted some of the challenges that we would face as parents. There were 33 items on the list. Here is a list of some of the funnier items. Remember we wrote this before we had two children.

1. Don't have to share your dessert with whiny kids.
2. Can give people with noisy kids dirty looks.
3. Clean house.
4. No sippy cups with rotten milk under the couch.
5. No snotty noses.
6. Can pay attention in church.
7. You can walk around naked and no one ask "what's that?".
8. No squished cheerios in the back seat of the car.
9. Quiet car rides.
10. No Kool-Aid stains on the carpet.
11. You don't step on match box cars in the dark.
12. You get to sleep in.
13. No stinky diapers.
14. Don't have to eat mac and cheese.
15. No 3 AM feedings.
16. Can go to the movies any time.
17. Can watch the movies you want and not kiddie flicks.
18. Gold fish cracker budget... 0 dollars.

If we had to write a list now it would be titled "The Best Things About Having Kids"

Here is a sample list.
1. Watching them get excited about eating an ice cream cone and getting it all over their face.
2. Plenty of exercise chasing them around and keeping them from making messes.
3. Excited smiles first thing in the morning.
4. Someone that is excited to see you when you come home from work.
5. Someone to give you big hugs and say, "I yove you mommy."
6. Watching them learn how to do things for the first time.
7. Hearing them say, "Daddy sing it!" when they want you to sing Old Mac Donald.
8. Taking them to see the animals at Cabellas.
9. Reading Zack that same book every night and when Mommy tries to read the same book he yells, "No, Daddy's!"
10. Having them ask if they can go to bambas (grandma's) house.
11. They get excited about simple things like bubbles.
12. Listening to them talk to themselves during car rides.
13. Holidays like Christmas and Halloween are a lot more fun.
14. Having people tell you that they are the cutest, and knowing that it is true
15. When they say, "Daddy watch this," and then burp.
16. A baby that falls asleep in your arms.
17. They come to you when they get hurt.
18. They cry when you leave them with a baby sitter because they can't bear to be away from you.
19. When you look back at all the messes they made and for some reason you aren't mad but can find it kind of funny.
20. They always do or say things that make you laugh.
21. It is really funny when they yell "Ow my *****(private part)!" in church.
22. Someone who wants to be just like you (at least until they become teenagers).
23. They want you and no one else.
24. Even though you thought you knew, you learn how to love.

"I'm Cooking...Eggs"

Zack's been busy this week getting into things, spreading lotion on the carpet, throwing fits, and making messes. His most outrageous shenanigan was when he decided to cook up a bunch of eggs. Daddy was in the shower, I was rocking Maddie to sleep. I heard the fridge open and then some pans banging. I should have jumped up and ran in the kitchen right then (we are usually literally running to see what Zack is up to), but I didn't. By the time I got to the kitchen, his fun was going full blast. Zack had taken our large frying pan and placed it on the rug. He got himself a spatula (of course) and proceeded to crack each and every egg in the carton. Some of them landed on the floor, most of them in the pan.

As I came around the corner into the kitchen, I saw him stirring a gooey mess of eggs and egg shells just as if he was making scrambled eggs. I calmly asked him what he was doing and he said "I'm cooking eggs," as if it was the most normal thing for him to be doing at that moment. A year ago I might have flipped over this but Chrissom and I have become so used to Zack getting into messes that we aren't surprised by much. Instead of yelling, screaming and putting him in time out this is what happened...
I quickly walked down the hall to ask Chrissom where the camera was. He came to see what was going on and to take pictures. His comment was "at least he didn't do it on the carpet." My comment was "at least he did it on the rug I just washed and the floor I just mopped." Chrissom took a picture and cleaned up the eggs and said, "he used every egg." I said, "I'm not surprised." Chrissom said, "How did he learn how to crack and egg?" I said, "He's seen me do it, he watches everything." Needless to say, Zack was very upset when we took the pan and spatula away from him. He threw a grand fit and declared that he wanted to eat them. Here's the video of it.